Category Archives: Personal reflections

Let’s talk about how we experience challenges to our privilege. We don’t do this enough.

Have you ever been accused of being “privileged?” Of having “unearned privilege?” Have you ever had that feeling that out of virtually nowhere, people are labeling you, boxing you into a corner, suddenly putting the screws on you to somehow … Continue reading

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Sometimes, when you want to welcome the new, you have to kick out the old crying and screaming

Man, am I learning a hard lesson in my life right now. I went on vacation for 3 months to travel around and get new perspectives and inspiration, knowing that something was missing, that I needed to find out what … Continue reading

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What your awareness says about your trustworthiness – and how “safe” a person you are

I’ve known many people, including myself, that have a lot of trouble just being themselves. You can get into a lot of unfortunate trouble if you don’t develop a fine-tuned filter. We all know there are certain things you can’t … Continue reading

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Meet my role model for situations of high tension: the hostage negotiator

“What would Jesus do?” say some. “What would Grandma do?” say others. These figures, who often are not with us, serve as inspiration to be somebody better, to “take the high road” at challenging moments. For me, when such moments … Continue reading

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“Today you … tomorrow me” (or, “why I often pick up hitchhikers”)

The following is a verbatim republication of something written by a member of Reddit in response to the question “Have you ever picked up a hitch-hiker?” It won Reddit’s “Comment of the Year” award in 2010 – it’s a beautiful … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Love and compassion, Pass on the positivity!, Personal reflections, Zany or uncategorized stuff | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

What is “listening?”

This is so damn important! If I ruled the world, “listening” would be as much a part of the school curriculum as mathematics or language or history. It would continue to be a required course in higher education also! It’s … Continue reading

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On not labeling your relationships

A friend of mine recently told me, “I’m seeing two people. But I never refer to either of them as ‘boyfriend’ … they are always just ‘friend’, both between us and with other people. The minute you give the relationship a label … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Love and compassion, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality, Short posts | Tagged , , , , | 16 Comments

What do I want for the holidays? Nothing, actually.

A member of my family recently asked me what I wanted for Christmas. It was a beautiful gesture by somebody dear to me who knows me well and knows that I generally appreciate gifts I know about more than surprise … Continue reading

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Some thoughts about individuals who go on deadly shooting sprees

After getting over the fact that the most innocent of lives were lost yesterday in Connecticut just because somebody was angry or wanted revenge on someone else, we’re going to start asking why once again. There is no one answer. … Continue reading

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Why greater investment in finding a romantic match often leads to lesser returns; some thoughts

The world of sex and romance can get really noisy sometimes with all the drama, intended or not, that it often brings. Yes – even with low-drama people. At such times, it can become hard to think. People who know … Continue reading

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What the heck does “positive” mean, anyway? Here are 22 ways I’ve come to understand “positivity”

I picked the word “positive” for this blog because I think that, if I am limited to one word, “positive” best represents the message I am trying to convey, and the way I want to live my life. No one … Continue reading

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Who do you think you aren’t?

Before I was able to love myself, I use to think about all the people that I wasn’t like. I would think about heroes, the people that we hold in high esteem as models for the best that humanity can … Continue reading

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One atheist’s understanding of the message of Jesus Christ

I’m one of the most religion-friendly atheists you’ll ever know. Because I don’t believe in disparaging people’s beliefs for being different than my own. On the contrary, those around us who believe different things than we do, they hold these … Continue reading

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The “awesomeness” of lack of pretense

When I was young, some people used to tell me about how awesome I was for some reason. Much of the time, they would laugh and chuckle at the same time as they told me I was awesome. I had … Continue reading

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It’s good to lose it every once in a while

Over the past year, I felt this weird unease about the way my life was going: it seemed, just a little too much, like I was doing good. Like I was on top, like I was untouchable (or at least … Continue reading

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You’re not feeling everything that you really feel

Have you ever noticed, when you look back on a past event, that you feel much differently now looking back on it than you did when you were going through it? When all is said and done, what counts most … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Personal reflections, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

“Do I worry too much?”

The fact that one asks themself this question already reveals part of the answer, doesn’t it? Honestly, this is one of my little problems. I think about things  a lot. I reflect, contemplate, hypothesize, extrapolate, rewind, and fast-forward all kinds … Continue reading

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How to apologize… without meaning it?

So I’m looking through the search terms through which people come upon this blog, and one of the ones that seems to come up rather often is some variation on “how to say you’re sorry without meaning it.” Unfortunately for … Continue reading

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You’re always there (a poem about the sky :-)

I see you. You are the sky And your presence is embodied in your “self” The self I cannot touch or measure.   For science has proven that you don’t really exist That you are not a separate thing from everything … Continue reading

Posted in Personal reflections, Poetry, song, and other art, Short posts, Zany or uncategorized stuff | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Good people finding good people – that’s what makes being alive feel special to me

Recently, I’ve gotten better at something than I used to be… I’ve always been an outgoing sort of person. Somebody who goes out there and interacts with other people (not always in the healthiest of ways – but I’ve gotten … Continue reading

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The top 5 things people who are close to dying regret when they look back at their life

REGRETS OF THE DYING by Bronnie Ware (originally published here) For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the … Continue reading

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Sometimes I just want to come home

Home is more than just a place. It’s a very powerful concept. It’s what makes us comfortable, what we’re familiar with, what makes us feel like everything is all right. Home is our place in the world. It’s where the … Continue reading

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An anonymous open letter to people in abusive relationships who want to stay in the relationship despite the abuse

NOTE: trigger warning. This post contains graphic discussion of violence in relationships.

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Personal reflections, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , | 49 Comments

Seeing deeper

by ~laylapersia (original post here) . The scars on my wrist represent pain; hurt which I wear just beneath my sleeve. . Also on my heart. Hidden, yet no less intense. . Moreso, for all the scars which we wear … Continue reading

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A MANifesto for the 21st Century

There is a lot of talk about how women face a multitude of problems that men do not (something that is still true, even in most developed countries). In the past 100 years, feminist movements of many different stripes have … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Remember to breathe

Rant ahead! I have been having a really busy, action-packed week, and done pretty well. Got a lot done, managed to enjoy substantial time with good friends, ran errands, work is busy, et cetera et cetera. I even slept really … Continue reading

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I’ve been away for a little while

I just realized, I haven’t put up a new post in about a week! Usually I post every other day, sometimes skipping a day. But no, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. I just took some time … Continue reading

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When love makes the pain feel good

I’m not talking about kink/BDSM stuff here… that was covered in another post. No, I’m talking about when you feel that aching pit in your stomach for someone, when you miss them, when they have done something that they needed … Continue reading

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A Daddy That Serves… in Pain: One man’s perspective on loving and giving – and yet, being invisible

One night I was reading through journal entries on a website, and I stumbled across this: a man’s plea to be heard and be loved for who he truly is. He is a transman, that is, someone who was born … Continue reading

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Sexual orientation is about much more than which gender you prefer

One of the problems with the language we use around sexuality is this business of “hetero, homo, or bi”—as if only three orientations exist. Feeling the need to categorize yourself as one of these things is a symptom of a … Continue reading

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Things to remember when listening to somebody

It’s not all about you. In fact, it’s all about them right now. The other person’s point of view is as valid as yours, no matter how crazy it might sound. In fact, if you choose to listen to it, … Continue reading

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This thread tore at my heart

Somebody on Reddit posted that she needed something that would help her to cry, and asked for others to post videos, pictures, stories, and other media that have made them cry. I clicked some of the links, took a look … Continue reading

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When a former asset has become a burden

It could be a deep relationship that just needs to change. Or a job that you were once happy to have, but now causes you stress. Or a lifestyle habit you have that once was awesome, but now has become … Continue reading

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Letter to a friend: I’m lonely, and I want to share this with you

I just wrote the following to a friend of mine – a little venting for my soul: =================== My loneliness is not a desperate one. I’m just aware of it and know that I’ll be better off expressing it. I’ve … Continue reading

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All of us – even the worst among us – are awesome…

…those among us who don’t appear awesome simply haven’t tapped into their latent awesomeness just yet.

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It’s time to rant again!

Another late day at work. Weeks going by without seeing the ones I love. A constant feeling like I’m missing out on life. Not everything is always like this. It’s just that, being so busy, sometimes I get real frustrated… … Continue reading

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If you have nothing nice to say…

…think of something that ain’t too mean, but makes your objection clear. If you don’t let yourself be muzzled, your expression will buy you the time and mental relief to think of something nice to follow it up with. However … Continue reading

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This kind of thinking really should be killed off

I’m talking about SHAME. Humiliating, self-loathing, debilitating shame. What’s the point of it? The point is, pretty much, to make you more humble and grateful through getting you to put yourself down. Nope! That is not how you become a … Continue reading

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REAL LISTENING: a priceless and immeasurably valuable skill

If there was one thing I wish people learned much, much more than they do now, it would be how to truly listen. Because we human beings are really starving for good listening. So many times, so many conflicts would … Continue reading

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Somebody was spoiling for a fight with me…

So I’m on the bus today, talking to a friend on my phone. The bus is rather noisy, but I do have a loud voice, especially when I’m animated about something, and I was pretty psyched up about what I … Continue reading

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Proposal for Obama: give Haiti the attention you give Afghanistan

I’m volunteering at a support center for the families of earthquake victims in Haiti today, and after some discussion with folks, I just thought to myself: why doesn’t President Obama send some of those Afghanistan resources to Haiti instead?

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I’m feeling really negative right now

I do a lot of preaching about the virtues of positive energy here. But sometimes, I fall off the wagon too.

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The destructiveness of the modern idea of masculinity

I am a man. I grew up a male, and I’m certainly not unhappy with who I am. However, I am very disturbed about how males are viewed and taught how to be. I wrote this letter to my grandmother … Continue reading

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What can I do, and what do YOU do, to be a positive person?

Happy New Year! I made it a New Year’s Resolution to start this blog, all about spreading positive human energy. And though I feel as though I have a lot to write about, I know can’t be my best, personally, … Continue reading

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A chat excerpt about understanding people who act destructively

Here is an excerpt from an online chat I had with someone about how to understand people who act destructively. ===================== me: The best way to both listen to somebody and be prepared for certain miscues, I think, is to … Continue reading

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