Category Archives: Healthy vulnerability and weakness

What you feel is never wrong

One could say that feelings are always right, especially considering how they often just “happen” despite our best efforts! Sometimes, the context of certain feelings is messed up, yes indeed. You don’t want to burst out laughing when somebody is weeping, talking … Continue reading

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

How “leaving people a way out” calms tensions

We all get to that point with someone sometimes when there’s this big loaded question in the air – one that involves a lot of emotion, and thus potential disappointment. Think “will you marry me?” for example. Sometimes it’s not … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Compersion: a word we should all become familiar with

We have words in English for when we become upset at someone else’s enjoyment (jealousy) and for when we delight in being better off than someone else (gloating) and even delighting in another’s misery (schadenfreude) … but what do we … Continue reading

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What is “listening?”

This is so damn important! If I ruled the world, “listening” would be as much a part of the school curriculum as mathematics or language or history. It would continue to be a required course in higher education also! It’s … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Personal reflections | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Feminism is NOT enough by itself to liberate men from the problems they confront; a treatise on male empowerment

One of the biggest sticking points between feminists and those who oppose them is this creeping thinking that “women are the oppressed gender, and men are not.” That it is only women who need the safe spaces, the redress of injustice, … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Sex and sexuality, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , | 27 Comments

Ask for help even when you don’t totally need it

We tend to ask for help when (a) what we need help with is not a big deal, and (b) when we desperately need help with something, often at times when we should have asked long ago. The fact that … Continue reading

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The difference between envy and jealousy

Envy is a natural feeling of wanting what somebody else has. Jealousy, however, is qualitatively different. Whereas envy simply says, “I want what you have,” jealousy says, “I can’t stand that you have something I don’t,” usually followed up with … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Short posts | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Getting the most out of the loves of our lives

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” –Rumi There is something about the way much of modern society views love outside of … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

The primordial soup of new feelings

When a person’s life situation suddenly changes radically, things can often become unstable. Moving to a new town, breaking up with a long-term partner, forming a new deep romantic relationship, moving out of a family member’s house, death of a loved … Continue reading

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Intimacy takes time

In today’s modern hurly-burly, one thing that I am always seeing people forget [or never learn] is that as much as one may want to get deep real quick, the truth is, that … it takes time. We’ve all had … Continue reading

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It’s good to lose it every once in a while

Over the past year, I felt this weird unease about the way my life was going: it seemed, just a little too much, like I was doing good. Like I was on top, like I was untouchable (or at least … Continue reading

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You’re not feeling everything that you really feel

Have you ever noticed, when you look back on a past event, that you feel much differently now looking back on it than you did when you were going through it? When all is said and done, what counts most … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Personal reflections, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The real prize we’re all in search of

Why make money, form friendships, fall in love, suffer people and things you don’t like, and all that jazz? What are we really looking for? The answer to that question is not easy, and it does vary from person to … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

When there’s nothing more to say…

Sometimes, there’s nothing more to say. Sometimes, things just are as they are. And they will be talked about, and they will be described – but the more talking and describing occurs, the clearer it becomes that such talking and describing … Continue reading

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How to get good at empathizing

Those who see the infinite value of human connection and focus more and more on it start noticing something: empathy is everywhere. Or, at the very least, it is needed everywhere. So often, the first basic underpinning to doing anything meaningful involving another … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Making connection, Pass on the positivity!, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

To be validated; when it’s good to hear someone else say something you already know

I give out a whole lot of advice here on this blog. I started this blog because I was giving out a whole lot of advice and perspective to a number of my friends, and realized that I was telling … Continue reading

Posted in Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

The power of vulnerability

I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. –2 Corinthians 12:10 (The Bible) The prevailing view of strength is one that opposes it to weakness and vulnerability. … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Short posts, Video clips | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A MANifesto for the 21st Century

There is a lot of talk about how women face a multitude of problems that men do not (something that is still true, even in most developed countries). In the past 100 years, feminist movements of many different stripes have … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

When love makes the pain feel good

I’m not talking about kink/BDSM stuff here… that was covered in another post. No, I’m talking about when you feel that aching pit in your stomach for someone, when you miss them, when they have done something that they needed … Continue reading

Posted in Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Personal reflections, Short posts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A Daddy That Serves… in Pain: One man’s perspective on loving and giving – and yet, being invisible

One night I was reading through journal entries on a website, and I stumbled across this: a man’s plea to be heard and be loved for who he truly is. He is a transman, that is, someone who was born … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Can positive people be sad or depressed?

Short answer: it happens all the time. There are some people out there who are so much into being happy and joyful that they run away from sad, depressing things. That’s understandable, but definitely not optimal. They end up never … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

This thread tore at my heart

Somebody on Reddit posted that she needed something that would help her to cry, and asked for others to post videos, pictures, stories, and other media that have made them cry. I clicked some of the links, took a look … Continue reading

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Saying you’re sorry and meaning it. How to apologize without conditions

Pride is a powerful motivator, and we often think that apologizing is humiliating. So we qualify our apologies with “if” and other riders: “I’m sorry if what I said offended you.” “I’m sorry you took what I said the wrong … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

The art of disarming: a better way to settle conflict

We often get caught up in a cycle of threats; I feel threatened by somebody, so I harden up and put out “don’t fuck with me” signals. The other person gets intimidated on their end, and they do the same. … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Pass on the positivity! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Letter to a friend: I’m lonely, and I want to share this with you

I just wrote the following to a friend of mine – a little venting for my soul: =================== My loneliness is not a desperate one. I’m just aware of it and know that I’ll be better off expressing it. I’ve … Continue reading

Posted in Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Personal reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Love enough to let go. A song for thought

Unconditional love is freeing. It does not restrain. It is not possessive. It lets go. It’s really too bad that so many people don’t hear this kind of message enough to fully understand. After all, in media and popular culture, … Continue reading

Posted in Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Poetry, song, and other art, Staying strong, Video clips | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Don’t be ashamed to cry

Especially for men, there is a taboo about crying. It shows weakness. It shows sadness, which we often associate with negative energy. We even tend to assume that it shows instability, and it sometimes makes us feel unstable to observe … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Positive self-talk: life is a film, not a photograph

You know how you feel something so strongly at certain points? Like “I will love this person for ever and ever,” or “I hate this person so much right now I could kill them…” Ever notice how, as strong as … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healthy vulnerability and weakness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

The destructiveness of the modern idea of masculinity

I am a man. I grew up a male, and I’m certainly not unhappy with who I am. However, I am very disturbed about how males are viewed and taught how to be. I wrote this letter to my grandmother … Continue reading

Posted in Debate!, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments