Tag Archives: relationships

Compersion: a word we should all become familiar with

We have words in English for when we become upset at someone else’s enjoyment (jealousy) and for when we delight in being better off than someone else (gloating) and even delighting in another’s misery (schadenfreude) … but what do we … Continue reading

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On not labeling your relationships

A friend of mine recently told me, “I’m seeing two people. But I never refer to either of them as ‘boyfriend’ … they are always just ‘friend’, both between us and with other people. The minute you give the relationship a label … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Love and compassion, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality, Short posts | Tagged , , , , | 16 Comments

Why greater investment in finding a romantic match often leads to lesser returns; some thoughts

The world of sex and romance can get really noisy sometimes with all the drama, intended or not, that it often brings. Yes – even with low-drama people. At such times, it can become hard to think. People who know … Continue reading

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Getting the most out of the loves of our lives

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” –Rumi There is something about the way much of modern society views love outside of … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

The “monogamy vs. polyamory” debate – how can you know which relationship style is right for you?

When monogamy and polyamory get talked about seriously, lots of assumptions can often pop up. People of one view can get into a mode of thinking that looks down on people that think differently about things.

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Forgive, but don’t forget (for different reasons than you might think)

Can you really forgive without forgetting? There are some who say that you must forget in order to properly forgive. Put that which you have forgiven out of your mind, and go forth with a pure heart. If you don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Staying strong, Zany or uncategorized stuff | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Don’t always protect people from your truth. It won’t make things right

We are often encouraged to put the negativity behind us and stay positive! You know, when something bothers you or otherwise messes with you? As aggravating as it may be, you swallow it and don’t make a big deal out … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Long posts, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

An anonymous open letter to people in abusive relationships who want to stay in the relationship despite the abuse

NOTE: trigger warning. This post contains graphic discussion of violence in relationships.

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Personal reflections, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , | 50 Comments

“Chemistry” and being “in love” – does it have to fade away?

It is often said that when you find someone that you really click well with, you’ll have the “honeymoon” period, when you’re in love and feel this deep desire – and then, after a while, it all fades out, and … Continue reading

Posted in Developing trust, Love and compassion | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A different way to look at romantic relationships

Recently I was talking to a friend about whether she wanted a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship, and she told me that, for her, non-monogamy is the default norm, with monogamy being one possible “customization,” as opposed to the way. This … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The problem with secretly keeping score

Have you ever had a relationship with someone that was always threatened by tit-for-tat “negotiations” over small things? You know, like “we ate at the restaurant you wanted to go to last time. Now it’s my turn.” Stuff like this … Continue reading

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A good divorce is as much cause to celebrate as a good marriage

Unfortunately, it’s even rarer. A few days ago I went to the family court in my area for a case that was pulled last of all, which meant I got to observe the other cases. Among these others were a … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Love and compassion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The art of disarming: a better way to settle conflict

We often get caught up in a cycle of threats; I feel threatened by somebody, so I harden up and put out “don’t fuck with me” signals. The other person gets intimidated on their end, and they do the same. … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Pass on the positivity! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Desire, attraction, and the sacred middle ground

Love is wonderful when it works. But we push love away so often because we are afraid it won’t work. Even with those we are supposed to love most. The vulnerability required to realize true intimacy can be a major … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Developing trust, Long posts, Love and compassion, Pass on the positivity!, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

What is real, unconditional love?

A woman leaves behind her family and friends, everything she has ever known… to be with the one she loves. A man jumps in front of an assassin’s bullet to save his lover, putting his life on the line for … Continue reading

Posted in Love and compassion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments