Category Archives: Healing

Some things I’ve learned about recognizing, coping with, and fighting oppression and bigotry

It should all be so simple: don’t be a jerk! So why do oppression and bigotry still happen all the time? And why does so much of it so often fly under the radar, often with little to no challenge, … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Debate!, Healing, Long posts | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What you feel is never wrong

One could say that feelings are always right, especially considering how they often just “happen” despite our best efforts! Sometimes, the context of certain feelings is messed up, yes indeed. You don’t want to burst out laughing when somebody is weeping, talking … Continue reading

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

What will it take to stop the violence?

Why do violent acts happen? There are a thousand answers to this question. But not all of these answers are easily known. Especially when you are talking not about one single act of violence, but rather the continued stream of … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Debate!, Healing | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

What is “listening?”

This is so damn important! If I ruled the world, “listening” would be as much a part of the school curriculum as mathematics or language or history. It would continue to be a required course in higher education also! It’s … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Personal reflections | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Some thoughts about individuals who go on deadly shooting sprees

After getting over the fact that the most innocent of lives were lost yesterday in Connecticut just because somebody was angry or wanted revenge on someone else, we’re going to start asking why once again. There is no one answer. … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Debate!, Healing, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Why greater investment in finding a romantic match often leads to lesser returns; some thoughts

The world of sex and romance can get really noisy sometimes with all the drama, intended or not, that it often brings. Yes – even with low-drama people. At such times, it can become hard to think. People who know … Continue reading

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What the heck does “positive” mean, anyway? Here are 22 ways I’ve come to understand “positivity”

I picked the word “positive” for this blog because I think that, if I am limited to one word, “positive” best represents the message I am trying to convey, and the way I want to live my life. No one … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Healing, Pass on the positivity!, Personal reflections, Zany or uncategorized stuff | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

There is no talking to someone who won’t listen. Talk to those that will listen instead

I am often witness to situations in which a conversation is going on between two people. Or, at least, that is what supposed to be happening. In reality, somebody is not listening. But often, even though somebody is not listening, … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Making connection, Short posts | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Who do you think you aren’t?

Before I was able to love myself, I use to think about all the people that I wasn’t like. I would think about heroes, the people that we hold in high esteem as models for the best that humanity can … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Healing, Personal reflections | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

The wonderful, liberating power … of dispassionateness

Oh yeah, let’s get excited! We’re going to get … dispassionate. Cool. Calm. Composed. Collected. And it’s going to be AWESOME. 🙂 I’m not joking. I’m telling you – sometimes there’s nothing that feels more awesome and life-giving than when … Continue reading

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It’s good to lose it every once in a while

Over the past year, I felt this weird unease about the way my life was going: it seemed, just a little too much, like I was doing good. Like I was on top, like I was untouchable (or at least … Continue reading

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You’re not feeling everything that you really feel

Have you ever noticed, when you look back on a past event, that you feel much differently now looking back on it than you did when you were going through it? When all is said and done, what counts most … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Personal reflections, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

It’s ok to not be ready

This is one of those things that you can’t force. When you aren’t ready, you just aren’t ready. And nothing that you do or say is going to change that. It’s one of those things for which there is nothing … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Love and compassion, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

The real prize we’re all in search of

Why make money, form friendships, fall in love, suffer people and things you don’t like, and all that jazz? What are we really looking for? The answer to that question is not easy, and it does vary from person to … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Forgive, but don’t forget (for different reasons than you might think)

Can you really forgive without forgetting? There are some who say that you must forget in order to properly forgive. Put that which you have forgiven out of your mind, and go forth with a pure heart. If you don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Staying strong, Zany or uncategorized stuff | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

How to apologize… without meaning it?

So I’m looking through the search terms through which people come upon this blog, and one of the ones that seems to come up rather often is some variation on “how to say you’re sorry without meaning it.” Unfortunately for … Continue reading

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How to get good at empathizing

Those who see the infinite value of human connection and focus more and more on it start noticing something: empathy is everywhere. Or, at the very least, it is needed everywhere. So often, the first basic underpinning to doing anything meaningful involving another … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Making connection, Pass on the positivity!, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Avoiding the life-wrecking scarcity model of thinking

Underlying many of our greatest fears in life is the feeling that we will be abandoned, left out. That there won’t be enough of something left for us, and our needs will be forgotten. We’ll get trampled or left behind, … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Love and compassion, Short posts | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Good people finding good people – that’s what makes being alive feel special to me

Recently, I’ve gotten better at something than I used to be… I’ve always been an outgoing sort of person. Somebody who goes out there and interacts with other people (not always in the healthiest of ways – but I’ve gotten … Continue reading

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How to apologize sincerely without feeling weak and humiliated

Feeling sorry about something does not mean you should necessarily feel weak. The fact that you did something wrong does not make you a less worthy person. Apologizing is a gesture of humility – thus there is a certain amount … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Long posts, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

To be validated; when it’s good to hear someone else say something you already know

I give out a whole lot of advice here on this blog. I started this blog because I was giving out a whole lot of advice and perspective to a number of my friends, and realized that I was telling … Continue reading

Posted in Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Sometimes I just want to come home

Home is more than just a place. It’s a very powerful concept. It’s what makes us comfortable, what we’re familiar with, what makes us feel like everything is all right. Home is our place in the world. It’s where the … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Personal reflections, Short posts | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

How important is sex, really?

Recently I was talking to a friend who, in the context of finding a monogamous relationship, was comparing two people she was attracted to. She told me “I am way more sexually drawn to Jamie [names changed] than I am to … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Long posts, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

An anonymous open letter to people in abusive relationships who want to stay in the relationship despite the abuse

NOTE: trigger warning. This post contains graphic discussion of violence in relationships.

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Personal reflections, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , | 49 Comments

The limits (and benefits) of professional mental therapy

Therapists. Shrinks. Counselors. Sometimes, you just need one, to help tackle a deeper problem. But sometimes that’s not what you really need. When therapy is applied correctly, it can work, and very well. But often, people go to therapists for … Continue reading

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Can positive people be sad or depressed?

Short answer: it happens all the time. There are some people out there who are so much into being happy and joyful that they run away from sad, depressing things. That’s understandable, but definitely not optimal. They end up never … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The art of disarming: a better way to settle conflict

We often get caught up in a cycle of threats; I feel threatened by somebody, so I harden up and put out “don’t fuck with me” signals. The other person gets intimidated on their end, and they do the same. … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Pass on the positivity! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Kink, fetish, BDSM… what is all that stuff really about, anyway?

Sure it has to do with the fun of role-playing, but much of the time it’s really about something way deeper than that: it’s about the power of healing, something that is so often so hard to get in touch … Continue reading

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When a former asset has become a burden

It could be a deep relationship that just needs to change. Or a job that you were once happy to have, but now causes you stress. Or a lifestyle habit you have that once was awesome, but now has become … Continue reading

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Personal reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Letter to a friend: I’m lonely, and I want to share this with you

I just wrote the following to a friend of mine – a little venting for my soul: =================== My loneliness is not a desperate one. I’m just aware of it and know that I’ll be better off expressing it. I’ve … Continue reading

Posted in Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Personal reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Don’t be ashamed to cry

Especially for men, there is a taboo about crying. It shows weakness. It shows sadness, which we often associate with negative energy. We even tend to assume that it shows instability, and it sometimes makes us feel unstable to observe … Continue reading

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