Tag Archives: change

The insidiousness of dogma – and how it affects our ability to be happy

Anything, even the greatest, most wonderful of things, can be ruined for somebody if they have bad experiences with it. Nothing has an absolute quality of greatness or awfulness. Each individual feels things relative to their own experience. The best things … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Debate!, Developing trust | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

The primordial soup of new feelings

When a person’s life situation suddenly changes radically, things can often become unstable. Moving to a new town, breaking up with a long-term partner, forming a new deep romantic relationship, moving out of a family member’s house, death of a loved … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Where you’re going is more important than where you are

  Ever notice how some people who are in the worst of situations somehow continue to be positive, joyful people? Or how some people who appear to have everything they could ever need and want still seem so dissatisfied? My … Continue reading

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Despite what it may seem, “forever” is usually not a very good thing – even in love

Oh, I very much understand the appeal! Why wouldn’t anybody want to be loved forever, cherished forever, protected forever… guaranteed that certain good things will be forever?? Problem is, there’s quite literally no way to fully guarantee it. Ever notice how … Continue reading

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The limits (and benefits) of professional mental therapy

Therapists. Shrinks. Counselors. Sometimes, you just need one, to help tackle a deeper problem. But sometimes that’s not what you really need. When therapy is applied correctly, it can work, and very well. But often, people go to therapists for … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A different way to look at romantic relationships

Recently I was talking to a friend about whether she wanted a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship, and she told me that, for her, non-monogamy is the default norm, with monogamy being one possible “customization,” as opposed to the way. This … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Change IS reality – in fact, it is reality’s driving force

Many of us try to find some constant in reality that we can hold on to, some one thing that will not change, that we can depend on. Well… if the computer age has taught us anything new, it’s that … Continue reading

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A good divorce is as much cause to celebrate as a good marriage

Unfortunately, it’s even rarer. A few days ago I went to the family court in my area for a case that was pulled last of all, which meant I got to observe the other cases. Among these others were a … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Love and compassion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The best way to be truthful is to channel the truth correctly

We often see the truth as this finite, fixed quality, and ask: why can’t people just be honest? If it were so simple, this wouldn’t be such a widespread complaint. The issue is that truth is much more complicated than … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Debate!, Developing trust | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Game changers: How to change your state of mind

Being able to shape your state of mind is key to maturity. While you certainly don’t want to micromanage the way you think (often it’s beneficial to just let your emotions roam rather than trying to control them), knowing how … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

The very important difference between a feeling and a state of mind

Feelings are temporary. They change and morph both gradually and quickly, often without us even realizing it. States of mind, however, are much longer-lasting and pervasive. You could consider a state of mind to be another kind of feeling, but … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Positive self-talk: life is a film, not a photograph

You know how you feel something so strongly at certain points? Like “I will love this person for ever and ever,” or “I hate this person so much right now I could kill them…” Ever notice how, as strong as … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healthy vulnerability and weakness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

The fallacy of “being right”

It seems so important sometimes: somebody has to be right. And, by extension, the rest of us are wrong. You know by now that I’m going to tell you that this is a harmful load of hogwash. 🙂 But what … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Debate! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments