Rant ahead! I have been having a really busy, action-packed week, and done pretty well. Got a lot done, managed to enjoy substantial time with good friends, ran errands, work is busy, et cetera et cetera. I even slept really well.
So why do I feel like I want to smash something right now?
As I take this moment out to listen to what my spirit is trying to tell me, I notice something: I have lost the will to breathe deeply. My breaths are short and staccato.
Over the past year, I have been training myself to be mindful of my breathing, and breathe deeply, inhaling “into my stomach.” This way I get to use the full volume of my lungs to take in oxygen. For a while now, this was pretty automatic. But this week, I have lost that reflex. Several times now, I have had to remind myself to fully inhale. Just now I reminded myself to fully exhale. Things are different when you breathe fully.
When in stressful situations, people often say, “take a deep breath.” It’s very good advice. Practitioners of medicine from the East see breath and the taking in of oxygen as being key to replenishing “qi” or “life-force.” Deep breathing also helps you to think more wisely, because the brain is a very oxygen-hungry organ and a lot is going on up there.
My aforementioned desire to smash something was the product of a momentary feeling of general narrowness: narrowness of thought, narrowness of breath, narrowness of general feeling from not having given myself time to feel. Now that I have taken a moment out to breathe, I no longer feel quite so hard and narrow; I have opened up and let in other energy, and though I certainly don’t feel great, I do feel much better.