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The 10 most read posts of the past 48 hours
- 9 reasons why men are insecure about their penis size
- What does it mean when you want someone to be jealous of you?
- Don't do something just because you "should"
- The very important difference between a feeling and a state of mind
- What you feel is never wrong
- More than "just sex," but perhaps not totally "making love," either
- "Your mother didn't tell you the truth"
- An anonymous open letter to people in abusive relationships who want to stay in the relationship despite the abuse
- Compersion: a word we should all become familiar with
- Have high hope, but low expectations
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Full list of posts
- Is righteous hatred a good thing? 2017/08/27
- How to respectfully talk about deep disagreements 2017/06/01
- Why we must stop referring to undocumented immigrants as “illegal” — immediately 2017/05/02
- Let’s talk about how we experience challenges to our privilege. We don’t do this enough. 2016/05/12
- Find “your people” 2016/05/06
- An anonymous letter to those “nice people” that do “favors” so they can sleep with people 2014/11/14
- 6 examples of what creepy behavior is, and how to avoid it 2014/07/14
- Why don’t people just say what they mean and mean what they say? 2014/06/02
- Exploring distinct kinds of attraction 2014/05/05
- Sometimes, when you want to welcome the new, you have to kick out the old crying and screaming 2014/04/23
- What is not being said or noticed? 2014/04/07
- Some things I’ve learned about recognizing, coping with, and fighting oppression and bigotry 2014/03/04
- The laws of benevolent (and harmful) behavior 2014/01/24
- Intelligence and compassion are not two separate things 2013/09/16
- Is competition bad? 2013/08/09
- What you feel is never wrong 2013/07/22
- What your awareness says about your trustworthiness – and how “safe” a person you are 2013/07/02
- Why you should learn how to speak nonjudgmentally 2013/06/22
- Positive thinking should be valued higher than other kinds of thinking 2013/06/14
- Meet my role model for situations of high tension: the hostage negotiator 2013/05/12
- Privilege is a much less unpleasant topic once we let ourselves be fully aware of it 2013/04/24
- What will it take to stop the violence? 2013/04/19
- How “leaving people a way out” calms tensions 2013/04/07
- Compersion: a word we should all become familiar with 2013/03/28
- “Today you … tomorrow me” (or, “why I often pick up hitchhikers”) 2013/03/17
- What is “listening?” 2013/03/11
- Pay as much attention to why things are right as you do to why they are wrong 2013/03/04
- When “attention” is a disease you don’t want to catch 2013/02/23
- When overall reality trumps ‘facts’ and ‘logic’ 2013/02/11
- Get off the script! 2013/01/23
- On not labeling your relationships 2013/01/10
- I’ll have more respect for your point of view if you demonstrate respect for points of view you don’t agree with 2013/01/02
- What do I want for the holidays? Nothing, actually. 2012/12/19
- Some thoughts about individuals who go on deadly shooting sprees 2012/12/15
- The insidiousness of dogma – and how it affects our ability to be happy 2012/12/03
- Soundbites don’t make a discussion 2012/11/23
- Why greater investment in finding a romantic match often leads to lesser returns; some thoughts 2012/11/08
- What the heck does “positive” mean, anyway? Here are 22 ways I’ve come to understand “positivity” 2012/10/23
- Why do people believe anecdotes and stories more than real statistics? 2012/10/11
- There is no talking to someone who won’t listen. Talk to those that will listen instead 2012/10/03
- What does it mean when you want someone to be jealous of you? 2012/09/26
- A murderer is not just a murderer 2012/09/20
- Feminism is NOT enough by itself to liberate men from the problems they confront; a treatise on male empowerment 2012/09/03
- Who do you think you aren’t? 2012/08/22
- Ask for help even when you don’t totally need it 2012/08/13
- One atheist’s understanding of the message of Jesus Christ 2012/08/06
- The nitty-gritty of using condoms: a conversation we don’t have nearly often enough 2012/07/25
- The difference between envy and jealousy 2012/07/11
- Getting the most out of the loves of our lives 2012/07/05
- The primordial soup of new feelings 2012/06/28
- The “monogamy vs. polyamory” debate – how can you know which relationship style is right for you? 2012/06/22
- The “awesomeness” of lack of pretense 2012/05/30
- The wonderful, liberating power … of dispassionateness 2012/05/04
- Intimacy takes time 2012/04/17
- Living in the truth 2012/04/05
- The enduring value of partnership 2012/03/23
- It’s good to lose it every once in a while 2012/03/18
- When the weather gets ugly, keep your hands firmly on the steering wheel 2012/03/14
- You’re not feeling everything that you really feel 2012/03/10
- Why I hate “will you marry me?” and other such loaded on-the-spot proposals 2012/03/06
- You can’t hurry love – and there ain’t no substitute 2012/03/02
- It’s ok to not be ready 2012/02/27
- The real prize we’re all in search of 2012/02/23
- “Do I worry too much?” 2012/02/18
- Why men are the sexual hunters and women are considered “keepers of sex” – and what can be done to address this imbalance 2012/02/14
- Forgive, but don’t forget (for different reasons than you might think) 2012/02/11
- The real reasons why people get jealous – and why jealousy is so powerful 2012/02/07
- How to apologize… without meaning it? 2012/02/03
- Those supernatural, divine moments in life are not exceptions – they’re CALLINGS 2012/01/29
- How to keep your head on straight when you suddenly fall in love 2012/01/25
- You’re always there (a poem about the sky :-) 2012/01/19
- When there’s nothing more to say… 2012/01/14
- Why are so many people such jerks? 2012/01/10
- Where you’re going is more important than where you are 2012/01/06
- How to get good at empathizing 2012/01/02
- Avoiding the life-wrecking scarcity model of thinking 2011/12/29
- Have high hope, but low expectations 2011/12/26
- ASK for clarification 2011/12/21
- It needs to be said: holidays can really suck sometimes 2011/12/18
- Don’t do something just because you “should” 2011/12/15
- Good people finding good people – that’s what makes being alive feel special to me 2011/12/12
- Despite what it may seem, “forever” is usually not a very good thing – even in love 2011/12/09
- The top 5 things people who are close to dying regret when they look back at their life 2011/12/06
- The joy of non-sequiturs – or, when dead lions come back to life as chickens 2011/12/03
- How to apologize sincerely without feeling weak and humiliated 2011/11/30
- Just being there makes all the difference 2011/11/26
- You should really get good at this game 2011/11/23
- More than “just sex,” but perhaps not totally “making love,” either 2011/11/19
- To be loved for who you are proud to be 2011/11/16
- Don’t always protect people from your truth. It won’t make things right 2011/11/13
- To be validated; when it’s good to hear someone else say something you already know 2011/11/10
- Sexual orientation doesn’t tell the whole story about attraction 2011/11/07
- “Your mother didn’t tell you the truth” 2011/11/06
- Sometimes I just want to come home 2011/11/03
- How important is sex, really? 2011/10/31
- We can do way better than either-or thinking 2011/10/28
- Recommended resource: The Four Agreements 2011/10/27
- An anonymous open letter to people in abusive relationships who want to stay in the relationship despite the abuse 2011/10/24
- Be somebody’s fresh air! 2011/10/21
- It’s not all about the private parts; on not assigning a gender to newborn children 2011/10/18
- “Chemistry” and being “in love” – does it have to fade away? 2011/10/14
- Seeing deeper 2011/10/05
- The real meaning of “safer sex” 2011/10/02
- Safer sex in practice: 15 risk factors that are not given enough attention 2011/09/28
- The limits (and benefits) of professional mental therapy 2011/09/21
- The power of vulnerability 2011/08/28
- A different way to look at romantic relationships 2011/08/13
- Change IS reality – in fact, it is reality’s driving force 2011/08/05
- A MANifesto for the 21st Century 2011/07/28
- It’s ok to be self-centered 2011/07/25
- The problem with secretly keeping score 2011/07/17
- Yin and Yang – a useful way to approach complex truth 2011/07/02
- The opportunity of adversity 2010/04/17
- How to be a better lover 2010/04/13
- A good divorce is as much cause to celebrate as a good marriage 2010/04/11
- Remember to breathe 2010/04/09
- I’ve been away for a little while 2010/04/08
- When love makes the pain feel good 2010/03/31
- Adolf Hitler and the 9/11 bombers never had any bad intentions 2010/03/29
- A Daddy That Serves… in Pain: One man’s perspective on loving and giving – and yet, being invisible 2010/03/27
- Sexual orientation is about much more than which gender you prefer 2010/03/25
- Can positive people be sad or depressed? 2010/03/22
- Things to remember when listening to somebody 2010/03/21
- How to listen well: start by listening to yourself 2010/03/19
- An idea is never born unaccompanied by a goal 2010/03/17
- Show honor to how other people choose to identify themselves 2010/03/15
- This thread tore at my heart 2010/03/13
- Saying you’re sorry and meaning it. How to apologize without conditions 2010/03/11
- How to talk to kids about sex, without lying to them 2010/03/09
- Do NOT compartmentalize how somebody acts toward another person 2010/03/07
- 9 reasons why men are insecure about their penis size 2010/03/03
- The art of disarming: a better way to settle conflict 2010/03/02
- No. Don’t hurry up. Think it over and take your sweet time. 2010/02/27
- Desire, attraction, and the sacred middle ground 2010/02/25
- The best way to be truthful is to channel the truth correctly 2010/02/23
- Desire for control: the roots of fascination with sex and violence 2010/02/20
- Kink, fetish, BDSM… what is all that stuff really about, anyway? 2010/02/17
- Game changers: How to change your state of mind 2010/02/15
- The real reason religion is so powerful 2010/02/14
- When a former asset has become a burden 2010/02/10
- Phone conversation? Or should you text? Or email? 2010/02/09
- Feminism: it’s all about taking back femininity 2010/02/08
- Letter to a friend: I’m lonely, and I want to share this with you 2010/02/07
- All of us – even the worst among us – are awesome… 2010/02/07
- The very important difference between a feeling and a state of mind 2010/02/06
- It’s time to rant again! 2010/02/05
- If you have nothing nice to say… 2010/02/04
- Love enough to let go. A song for thought 2010/02/03
- Have faith that there is always a reason 2010/02/02
- This kind of thinking really should be killed off 2010/02/01
- Can revenge ever really be justice? 2010/01/31
- Don’t be ashamed to cry 2010/01/30
- How to get in touch with your sense of justice 2010/01/29
- Long live Howard Zinn 2010/01/28
- Need a quick laugh? You’ve got to see these 2010/01/27
- What about when somebody just doesn’t make sense? 2010/01/26
- What if you just can’t be open-minded right now? 2010/01/25
- Positive self-talk: life is a film, not a photograph 2010/01/24
- 10 reasons we often think negatively about sex 2010/01/23
- REAL LISTENING: a priceless and immeasurably valuable skill 2010/01/21
- Somebody was spoiling for a fight with me… 2010/01/20
- The power of asking questions 2010/01/20
- Proposal for Obama: give Haiti the attention you give Afghanistan 2010/01/18
- Recommended resource: Steve Pavlina’s personal development writings 2010/01/17
- What is real, unconditional love? 2010/01/15
- Why I am an atheist (and why you don’t have to be one) 2010/01/14
- Is there a god? 2010/01/13
- “Avatar” is a wonderful movie 2010/01/11
- I’m feeling really negative right now 2010/01/09
- The fallacy of “being right” 2010/01/09
- Thought of the day: what is a fact, anyway? 2010/01/08
- A short film on dealing with the human ego 2010/01/07
- “Act like an adult” is not always a good idea 2010/01/06
- The destructiveness of the modern idea of masculinity 2010/01/03
- Positive irony, yeah! 2010/01/02
- What can I do, and what do YOU do, to be a positive person? 2010/01/01
- A New Year’s message to those of you who aren’t doing so well 2010/01/01
- Awesome example of fighting violence and racism with positive energy 2009/12/31
- My personal method for evaluating whether to trust somebody 2009/12/30
- A chat excerpt about understanding people who act destructively 2009/12/29
- A new beginning 2009/12/29
Tag Archives: self
Why greater investment in finding a romantic match often leads to lesser returns; some thoughts
The world of sex and romance can get really noisy sometimes with all the drama, intended or not, that it often brings. Yes – even with low-drama people. At such times, it can become hard to think. People who know … Continue reading
Posted in Healing, Love and compassion, Making connection, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality
Tagged intimacy, relationships, romance, self, sex
Leave a comment
Who do you think you aren’t?
Before I was able to love myself, I use to think about all the people that I wasn’t like. I would think about heroes, the people that we hold in high esteem as models for the best that humanity can … Continue reading
Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Healing, Personal reflections
Tagged identity, limitations, self, society
3 Comments
I’m feeling really negative right now
I do a lot of preaching about the virtues of positive energy here. But sometimes, I fall off the wagon too.
Posted in Personal reflections
Tagged anger, balance, coping, egocentrism, friends, friendship, frustration, negative, negativity, personal, perspective, reflection, self, time management
6 Comments
“Act like an adult” is not always a good idea
What’s the difference between a child and an adult? Puberty and a few years, that’s all. Why is this important? Because the idea that we are supposed to simply “act like adults” can be a very destructive one.
Posted in Debate!
Tagged act like an adult, adult, adults, behavior, child, childish, children, communication, development, helplessness, positive energy, self, self-communication, self-empowerment, self-examination, understanding
1 Comment
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