Tag Archives: control

What you feel is never wrong

One could say that feelings are always right, especially considering how they often just “happen” despite our best efforts! Sometimes, the context of certain feelings is messed up, yes indeed. You don’t want to burst out laughing when somebody is weeping, talking … Continue reading

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

When “attention” is a disease you don’t want to catch

The people and things that get the most attention are rarely the people and things most deserving of attention. Why are some people’s voices heard more than others? Why is some news heard more than other news that is equally or … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

What does it mean when you want someone to be jealous of you?

As I write this post, the most popular post on my blog these days, by far, is the one about why human beings get jealous. I noticed that a good number of the search terms hitting that post say things … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Debate!, Love and compassion | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

It’s good to lose it every once in a while

Over the past year, I felt this weird unease about the way my life was going: it seemed, just a little too much, like I was doing good. Like I was on top, like I was untouchable (or at least … Continue reading

Posted in Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Personal reflections | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

You’re not feeling everything that you really feel

Have you ever noticed, when you look back on a past event, that you feel much differently now looking back on it than you did when you were going through it? When all is said and done, what counts most … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Personal reflections, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Why men are the sexual hunters and women are considered “keepers of sex” – and what can be done to address this imbalance

Pretty much anywhere you go, men are conceived as the “horndog gender.” Men are viewed as the ones who will always want sex more, who are always quicker to sexualize a relationship, to make things about sex. And this does … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Long posts, Love and compassion, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

The real reasons why people get jealous – and why jealousy is so powerful

Jealousy is one of those demons that just seems to take everything over when it is felt – even when you know on the inside that your jealousy doesn’t make sense somehow, it often still rips through and takes you … Continue reading

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Love and compassion, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , | 51 Comments

When there’s nothing more to say…

Sometimes, there’s nothing more to say. Sometimes, things just are as they are. And they will be talked about, and they will be described – but the more talking and describing occurs, the clearer it becomes that such talking and describing … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healthy vulnerability and weakness | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

An anonymous open letter to people in abusive relationships who want to stay in the relationship despite the abuse

NOTE: trigger warning. This post contains graphic discussion of violence in relationships.

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Personal reflections, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , | 49 Comments

Adolf Hitler and the 9/11 bombers never had any bad intentions

Bad consequences/outcome? Yes, HORRIBLE. But not for bad intentions. No bad intentions here. Only good ones. What is a “bad intention?” And why in the world is it so important whether mass murderers have good or bad intentions? Because the … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Debate!, Love and compassion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Can positive people be sad or depressed?

Short answer: it happens all the time. There are some people out there who are so much into being happy and joyful that they run away from sad, depressing things. That’s understandable, but definitely not optimal. They end up never … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How to listen well: start by listening to yourself

You can search for and easily find techniques for how to listen well. Here, I want to focus on how a good listener thinks, rather than what they do. First thing that must be said: You will be a better … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Desire, attraction, and the sacred middle ground

Love is wonderful when it works. But we push love away so often because we are afraid it won’t work. Even with those we are supposed to love most. The vulnerability required to realize true intimacy can be a major … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Developing trust, Long posts, Love and compassion, Pass on the positivity!, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Desire for control: the roots of fascination with sex and violence

As we grow up, we learn to equate control with maturity. The more control one has, the better off they will be. This does not have to be a bad thought process; when I say control, that includes self-control as … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Game changers: How to change your state of mind

Being able to shape your state of mind is key to maturity. While you certainly don’t want to micromanage the way you think (often it’s beneficial to just let your emotions roam rather than trying to control them), knowing how … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Feminism: it’s all about taking back femininity

I am a man, and men don’t often get into feminism, I know. 🙂 I do have a very strong feminine component to my being. My femininity is very precious to me–precious enough to blog about; there is too much … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

10 reasons we often think negatively about sex

Something about being really sexual, even when it feels so great… is often frowned upon. But why? Most societies are very confused about sex. There are all these taboos about sex that cloud up real understanding about it and actually … Continue reading

Posted in Debate!, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

The destructiveness of the modern idea of masculinity

I am a man. I grew up a male, and I’m certainly not unhappy with who I am. However, I am very disturbed about how males are viewed and taught how to be. I wrote this letter to my grandmother … Continue reading

Posted in Debate!, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments