Can positive people be sad or depressed?

Short answer: it happens all the time.

There are some people out there who are so much into being happy and joyful that they run away from sad, depressing things. That’s understandable, but definitely not optimal. They end up never really dealing with their troubles, and it sneaks up on them, ruining their ability to be a positive force and letting down others who have such expectations of them. No, this certainly is not the way.

There are times when there is no other way but to face something that feels awful to dwell on. Somebody who is really a solid, positive person has the skills to cope with tough situations. They get down, they feel sad… and yet, they don’t get derailed.

Our positivity comes not from being happy all the time, but from being stable, patient, and overall content with the state of things – even if at the moment our emotions are not happy ones.

We know that it is our right to feel as we feel. That whether we feel like loving someone or killing someone, there is no shame in feeling this way. We give ourselves permission to be free from shame about our feelings, to validate ourselves. And thus, if a normally positive person is down or crying a bit, while perhaps they are going through a moment, it’s ok. It’s normal. It doesn’t necessarily mean something is horribly wrong.

I cry at least once a month, and often more than that… because frankly, I have to say, being a positive-minded individual can get really lonely at times. I’m not joking here… sometimes it feels as though I’m all alone. I am a shoulder many people lean on, and I wonder whether I’ll have people who can be there for me. So I’ll cry, and then I’ll call up a friend or two and talk about my feelings and how I’m lonely, and what kind of lonely I feel – and it’s all good. Occasionally I will even seek out the arms of one of my closest friends in whose arms I can gently sob and talk out my troubles, and still feel loved. No harm, no foul. Just healthy venting of a depressive feeling.

I have a friend who is much like me – she holds it together for the outside world so much of the time that she can get kind of lonely. One day, for the first time, she cried in my presence, and it was ok. And because it was ok, it was magnificent. She knew I would not go, “awww, don’t cry.” No no, she needed to cry at that moment, and it helped even more that I was there to witness it and acknowledge it and love this expression of sadness… without “rescuing” her. There was nothing to rescue… it was just some inner tension being released, that’s all. Once she saw that I knew that, she was a lot less lonely, and because of that, the crying only had to last maybe 1 or 2 minutes… that’s all! 🙂

The point of all this is that your spirit, your instinct, your desires, your feelings, your impulses – they are all valid and beautiful parts of you. Sometimes it can be frustrating, when your mind is zooming ahead, saying, “you should feel this way, not that way!” and yet you feel dragged down by your spirit… why?? Because your spirit will teach you how to stay in balance, that’s why. Because your conscious mind is a wonderful sandbox of ideas, but sometimes it cannot take everything into account and loses track of reality – YOUR reality. But your spirit does not forget. Positive people take the time to make sure their spirit is being heard – and thus, no matter what feeling a moment brings, they are almost always able to have a good deal of control over their state of mind.