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The 10 most read posts of the past 48 hours
- 9 reasons why men are insecure about their penis size
- What does it mean when you want someone to be jealous of you?
- More than "just sex," but perhaps not totally "making love," either
- The real reasons why people get jealous - and why jealousy is so powerful
- On not labeling your relationships
- How to keep your head on straight when you suddenly fall in love
- Where you're going is more important than where you are
- Have high hope, but low expectations
- Compersion: a word we should all become familiar with
- What you feel is never wrong
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Full list of posts
- Is righteous hatred a good thing? 2017/08/27
- How to respectfully talk about deep disagreements 2017/06/01
- Why we must stop referring to undocumented immigrants as “illegal” — immediately 2017/05/02
- Let’s talk about how we experience challenges to our privilege. We don’t do this enough. 2016/05/12
- Find “your people” 2016/05/06
- An anonymous letter to those “nice people” that do “favors” so they can sleep with people 2014/11/14
- 6 examples of what creepy behavior is, and how to avoid it 2014/07/14
- Why don’t people just say what they mean and mean what they say? 2014/06/02
- Exploring distinct kinds of attraction 2014/05/05
- Sometimes, when you want to welcome the new, you have to kick out the old crying and screaming 2014/04/23
- What is not being said or noticed? 2014/04/07
- Some things I’ve learned about recognizing, coping with, and fighting oppression and bigotry 2014/03/04
- The laws of benevolent (and harmful) behavior 2014/01/24
- Intelligence and compassion are not two separate things 2013/09/16
- Is competition bad? 2013/08/09
- What you feel is never wrong 2013/07/22
- What your awareness says about your trustworthiness – and how “safe” a person you are 2013/07/02
- Why you should learn how to speak nonjudgmentally 2013/06/22
- Positive thinking should be valued higher than other kinds of thinking 2013/06/14
- Meet my role model for situations of high tension: the hostage negotiator 2013/05/12
- Privilege is a much less unpleasant topic once we let ourselves be fully aware of it 2013/04/24
- What will it take to stop the violence? 2013/04/19
- How “leaving people a way out” calms tensions 2013/04/07
- Compersion: a word we should all become familiar with 2013/03/28
- “Today you … tomorrow me” (or, “why I often pick up hitchhikers”) 2013/03/17
- What is “listening?” 2013/03/11
- Pay as much attention to why things are right as you do to why they are wrong 2013/03/04
- When “attention” is a disease you don’t want to catch 2013/02/23
- When overall reality trumps ‘facts’ and ‘logic’ 2013/02/11
- Get off the script! 2013/01/23
- On not labeling your relationships 2013/01/10
- I’ll have more respect for your point of view if you demonstrate respect for points of view you don’t agree with 2013/01/02
- What do I want for the holidays? Nothing, actually. 2012/12/19
- Some thoughts about individuals who go on deadly shooting sprees 2012/12/15
- The insidiousness of dogma – and how it affects our ability to be happy 2012/12/03
- Soundbites don’t make a discussion 2012/11/23
- Why greater investment in finding a romantic match often leads to lesser returns; some thoughts 2012/11/08
- What the heck does “positive” mean, anyway? Here are 22 ways I’ve come to understand “positivity” 2012/10/23
- Why do people believe anecdotes and stories more than real statistics? 2012/10/11
- There is no talking to someone who won’t listen. Talk to those that will listen instead 2012/10/03
- What does it mean when you want someone to be jealous of you? 2012/09/26
- A murderer is not just a murderer 2012/09/20
- Feminism is NOT enough by itself to liberate men from the problems they confront; a treatise on male empowerment 2012/09/03
- Who do you think you aren’t? 2012/08/22
- Ask for help even when you don’t totally need it 2012/08/13
- One atheist’s understanding of the message of Jesus Christ 2012/08/06
- The nitty-gritty of using condoms: a conversation we don’t have nearly often enough 2012/07/25
- The difference between envy and jealousy 2012/07/11
- Getting the most out of the loves of our lives 2012/07/05
- The primordial soup of new feelings 2012/06/28
- The “monogamy vs. polyamory” debate – how can you know which relationship style is right for you? 2012/06/22
- The “awesomeness” of lack of pretense 2012/05/30
- The wonderful, liberating power … of dispassionateness 2012/05/04
- Intimacy takes time 2012/04/17
- Living in the truth 2012/04/05
- The enduring value of partnership 2012/03/23
- It’s good to lose it every once in a while 2012/03/18
- When the weather gets ugly, keep your hands firmly on the steering wheel 2012/03/14
- You’re not feeling everything that you really feel 2012/03/10
- Why I hate “will you marry me?” and other such loaded on-the-spot proposals 2012/03/06
- You can’t hurry love – and there ain’t no substitute 2012/03/02
- It’s ok to not be ready 2012/02/27
- The real prize we’re all in search of 2012/02/23
- “Do I worry too much?” 2012/02/18
- Why men are the sexual hunters and women are considered “keepers of sex” – and what can be done to address this imbalance 2012/02/14
- Forgive, but don’t forget (for different reasons than you might think) 2012/02/11
- The real reasons why people get jealous – and why jealousy is so powerful 2012/02/07
- How to apologize… without meaning it? 2012/02/03
- Those supernatural, divine moments in life are not exceptions – they’re CALLINGS 2012/01/29
- How to keep your head on straight when you suddenly fall in love 2012/01/25
- You’re always there (a poem about the sky :-) 2012/01/19
- When there’s nothing more to say… 2012/01/14
- Why are so many people such jerks? 2012/01/10
- Where you’re going is more important than where you are 2012/01/06
- How to get good at empathizing 2012/01/02
- Avoiding the life-wrecking scarcity model of thinking 2011/12/29
- Have high hope, but low expectations 2011/12/26
- ASK for clarification 2011/12/21
- It needs to be said: holidays can really suck sometimes 2011/12/18
- Don’t do something just because you “should” 2011/12/15
- Good people finding good people – that’s what makes being alive feel special to me 2011/12/12
- Despite what it may seem, “forever” is usually not a very good thing – even in love 2011/12/09
- The top 5 things people who are close to dying regret when they look back at their life 2011/12/06
- The joy of non-sequiturs – or, when dead lions come back to life as chickens 2011/12/03
- How to apologize sincerely without feeling weak and humiliated 2011/11/30
- Just being there makes all the difference 2011/11/26
- You should really get good at this game 2011/11/23
- More than “just sex,” but perhaps not totally “making love,” either 2011/11/19
- To be loved for who you are proud to be 2011/11/16
- Don’t always protect people from your truth. It won’t make things right 2011/11/13
- To be validated; when it’s good to hear someone else say something you already know 2011/11/10
- Sexual orientation doesn’t tell the whole story about attraction 2011/11/07
- “Your mother didn’t tell you the truth” 2011/11/06
- Sometimes I just want to come home 2011/11/03
- How important is sex, really? 2011/10/31
- We can do way better than either-or thinking 2011/10/28
- Recommended resource: The Four Agreements 2011/10/27
- An anonymous open letter to people in abusive relationships who want to stay in the relationship despite the abuse 2011/10/24
- Be somebody’s fresh air! 2011/10/21
- It’s not all about the private parts; on not assigning a gender to newborn children 2011/10/18
- “Chemistry” and being “in love” – does it have to fade away? 2011/10/14
- Seeing deeper 2011/10/05
- The real meaning of “safer sex” 2011/10/02
- Safer sex in practice: 15 risk factors that are not given enough attention 2011/09/28
- The limits (and benefits) of professional mental therapy 2011/09/21
- The power of vulnerability 2011/08/28
- A different way to look at romantic relationships 2011/08/13
- Change IS reality – in fact, it is reality’s driving force 2011/08/05
- A MANifesto for the 21st Century 2011/07/28
- It’s ok to be self-centered 2011/07/25
- The problem with secretly keeping score 2011/07/17
- Yin and Yang – a useful way to approach complex truth 2011/07/02
- The opportunity of adversity 2010/04/17
- How to be a better lover 2010/04/13
- A good divorce is as much cause to celebrate as a good marriage 2010/04/11
- Remember to breathe 2010/04/09
- I’ve been away for a little while 2010/04/08
- When love makes the pain feel good 2010/03/31
- Adolf Hitler and the 9/11 bombers never had any bad intentions 2010/03/29
- A Daddy That Serves… in Pain: One man’s perspective on loving and giving – and yet, being invisible 2010/03/27
- Sexual orientation is about much more than which gender you prefer 2010/03/25
- Can positive people be sad or depressed? 2010/03/22
- Things to remember when listening to somebody 2010/03/21
- How to listen well: start by listening to yourself 2010/03/19
- An idea is never born unaccompanied by a goal 2010/03/17
- Show honor to how other people choose to identify themselves 2010/03/15
- This thread tore at my heart 2010/03/13
- Saying you’re sorry and meaning it. How to apologize without conditions 2010/03/11
- How to talk to kids about sex, without lying to them 2010/03/09
- Do NOT compartmentalize how somebody acts toward another person 2010/03/07
- 9 reasons why men are insecure about their penis size 2010/03/03
- The art of disarming: a better way to settle conflict 2010/03/02
- No. Don’t hurry up. Think it over and take your sweet time. 2010/02/27
- Desire, attraction, and the sacred middle ground 2010/02/25
- The best way to be truthful is to channel the truth correctly 2010/02/23
- Desire for control: the roots of fascination with sex and violence 2010/02/20
- Kink, fetish, BDSM… what is all that stuff really about, anyway? 2010/02/17
- Game changers: How to change your state of mind 2010/02/15
- The real reason religion is so powerful 2010/02/14
- When a former asset has become a burden 2010/02/10
- Phone conversation? Or should you text? Or email? 2010/02/09
- Feminism: it’s all about taking back femininity 2010/02/08
- Letter to a friend: I’m lonely, and I want to share this with you 2010/02/07
- All of us – even the worst among us – are awesome… 2010/02/07
- The very important difference between a feeling and a state of mind 2010/02/06
- It’s time to rant again! 2010/02/05
- If you have nothing nice to say… 2010/02/04
- Love enough to let go. A song for thought 2010/02/03
- Have faith that there is always a reason 2010/02/02
- This kind of thinking really should be killed off 2010/02/01
- Can revenge ever really be justice? 2010/01/31
- Don’t be ashamed to cry 2010/01/30
- How to get in touch with your sense of justice 2010/01/29
- Long live Howard Zinn 2010/01/28
- Need a quick laugh? You’ve got to see these 2010/01/27
- What about when somebody just doesn’t make sense? 2010/01/26
- What if you just can’t be open-minded right now? 2010/01/25
- Positive self-talk: life is a film, not a photograph 2010/01/24
- 10 reasons we often think negatively about sex 2010/01/23
- REAL LISTENING: a priceless and immeasurably valuable skill 2010/01/21
- Somebody was spoiling for a fight with me… 2010/01/20
- The power of asking questions 2010/01/20
- Proposal for Obama: give Haiti the attention you give Afghanistan 2010/01/18
- Recommended resource: Steve Pavlina’s personal development writings 2010/01/17
- What is real, unconditional love? 2010/01/15
- Why I am an atheist (and why you don’t have to be one) 2010/01/14
- Is there a god? 2010/01/13
- “Avatar” is a wonderful movie 2010/01/11
- I’m feeling really negative right now 2010/01/09
- The fallacy of “being right” 2010/01/09
- Thought of the day: what is a fact, anyway? 2010/01/08
- A short film on dealing with the human ego 2010/01/07
- “Act like an adult” is not always a good idea 2010/01/06
- The destructiveness of the modern idea of masculinity 2010/01/03
- Positive irony, yeah! 2010/01/02
- What can I do, and what do YOU do, to be a positive person? 2010/01/01
- A New Year’s message to those of you who aren’t doing so well 2010/01/01
- Awesome example of fighting violence and racism with positive energy 2009/12/31
- My personal method for evaluating whether to trust somebody 2009/12/30
- A chat excerpt about understanding people who act destructively 2009/12/29
- A new beginning 2009/12/29
Category Archives: Staying strong
Sometimes, when you want to welcome the new, you have to kick out the old crying and screaming
Man, am I learning a hard lesson in my life right now. I went on vacation for 3 months to travel around and get new perspectives and inspiration, knowing that something was missing, that I needed to find out what … Continue reading →
Positive thinking should be valued higher than other kinds of thinking
Free speech and free thought are definitely valuable things. But some kinds of speech and thoughts are more valuable than other kinds. I refuse to take a standoffish, “unbiased” approach to these things when we have so much injustice and … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Making connection, Staying strong
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Tagged feelings, health, meaning, positive, priorities, quality of life, thinking
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1 Comment
Feminism is NOT enough by itself to liberate men from the problems they confront; a treatise on male empowerment
One of the biggest sticking points between feminists and those who oppose them is this creeping thinking that “women are the oppressed gender, and men are not.” That it is only women who need the safe spaces, the redress of injustice, … Continue reading →
The primordial soup of new feelings
When a person’s life situation suddenly changes radically, things can often become unstable. Moving to a new town, breaking up with a long-term partner, forming a new deep romantic relationship, moving out of a family member’s house, death of a loved … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Staying strong
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Tagged change, emotions, euphoria, experience, feelings, hurt
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1 Comment
When the weather gets ugly, keep your hands firmly on the steering wheel
As driving advice, this is pretty common sense, right? You always want your hands on the steering wheel, but most of all when conditions are tough. That’s when both hands will be firmly guiding every movement, right? The thing is, … Continue reading →
Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Short posts, Staying strong
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Tagged conflict, driving, emotion, feelings, resolution, self-control, stress
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1 Comment
You’re not feeling everything that you really feel
Have you ever noticed, when you look back on a past event, that you feel much differently now looking back on it than you did when you were going through it? When all is said and done, what counts most … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Personal reflections, Staying strong
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Tagged brain, control, emotions, feelings, heart, memories, mind, powerlessness, self-empowerment
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3 Comments
Why I hate “will you marry me?” and other such loaded on-the-spot proposals
Loaded questions are okay to ask as long as they don’t demand an answer right away. When it comes to big decisions in your life, like getting married, such questions should not be approached with an “answer me now” attitude. … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Debate!, Love and compassion, Short posts, Staying strong
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Tagged decision, disappointment, loaded, marriage, proposal
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Leave a comment
It’s ok to not be ready
This is one of those things that you can’t force. When you aren’t ready, you just aren’t ready. And nothing that you do or say is going to change that. It’s one of those things for which there is nothing … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Love and compassion, Staying strong
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Tagged desire, habit, pattern, ready, regret, rountine
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4 Comments
Forgive, but don’t forget (for different reasons than you might think)
Can you really forgive without forgetting? There are some who say that you must forget in order to properly forgive. Put that which you have forgiven out of your mind, and go forth with a pure heart. If you don’t … Continue reading →
How to get good at empathizing
Those who see the infinite value of human connection and focus more and more on it start noticing something: empathy is everywhere. Or, at the very least, it is needed everywhere. So often, the first basic underpinning to doing anything meaningful involving another … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Making connection, Pass on the positivity!, Staying strong
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Tagged connection, disappointment, empathizing, empathy, feelings, giving, help, sense, sympathy, understanding
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2 Comments
Don’t do something just because you “should”
Sometimes you have to do things you don’t really want to do – but sometimes you have to want to do things, too. Doing something despite not wanting to is part of life; very often, it’s too big a part of … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Staying strong
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Tagged desire, disappointment, guilt, obligation, regret, resentment, should, wants
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3 Comments
How to apologize sincerely without feeling weak and humiliated
Feeling sorry about something does not mean you should necessarily feel weak. The fact that you did something wrong does not make you a less worthy person. Apologizing is a gesture of humility – thus there is a certain amount … Continue reading →
Don’t always protect people from your truth. It won’t make things right
We are often encouraged to put the negativity behind us and stay positive! You know, when something bothers you or otherwise messes with you? As aggravating as it may be, you swallow it and don’t make a big deal out … Continue reading →
We can do way better than either-or thinking
I see it all the time. Modern western society must push back Islam. Islam must push back modern liberalism. Feminism is antithetical to men. Men’s rights are antithetical to feminism. And so on. In a lot of modern movements and … Continue reading →
An anonymous open letter to people in abusive relationships who want to stay in the relationship despite the abuse
NOTE: trigger warning. This post contains graphic discussion of violence in relationships.
Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Personal reflections, Staying strong
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Tagged abuse, behavior, control, hurt, relationships, violence
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57 Comments
A MANifesto for the 21st Century
There is a lot of talk about how women face a multitude of problems that men do not (something that is still true, even in most developed countries). In the past 100 years, feminist movements of many different stripes have … Continue reading →
Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality, Staying strong
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Tagged choice, empathy, empowerment, feminism, gender, heal, honesty, insecurity, listening, macho, male, manhood, masculinity, men, patience, positive energy, power, self-awareness, self-control, self-empowerment, sex, sexes, strength, threat, vulnerability, wrong
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1 Comment
It’s ok to be self-centered
In fact, it’s totally, completely necessary. You are the only person you have to live with every second of your life! If you aren’t self-centered, how can you be centered? There are a lot of myths out there about how … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Love and compassion, Staying strong
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Tagged balance, behavior, bible, ego, egocentrism, giving, god, heroes, Jesus Christ, listening, myth, respect, self, selfishness, selflessness, service, wrong, yinyang
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6 Comments
The opportunity of adversity
Positive-thinking people not only find ways to create positive situations; they also extract the golden nuggets of positivity from the jaws of very negative, debilitating situations. In this video, Aimee Mullins, an athlete, actress, and fashion model, talks about her … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Debate!, Staying strong, Video clips
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Tagged adversity, Aimee Mullins, amputation, challenge, disability, experience, hardship, language, perspective, point of view, positivity, state of mind, support, thinking, video, words
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2 Comments
A Daddy That Serves… in Pain: One man’s perspective on loving and giving – and yet, being invisible
One night I was reading through journal entries on a website, and I stumbled across this: a man’s plea to be heard and be loved for who he truly is. He is a transman, that is, someone who was born … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality, Staying strong
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Tagged acceptance, anger, care, compassion, crying, daddy, desire, emotion, family, fear, feelings, forlornness, ftm, gender, grief, hatred, help, humiliation, invisibility, judgment, kindness, loneliness, love, male, man, masculinity, nurturing, pain, queer, service, sex, sexual abuse, sexual objectification, strength, support, transgender, transman, understanding, unwelcome
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5 Comments
Game changers: How to change your state of mind
Being able to shape your state of mind is key to maturity. While you certainly don’t want to micromanage the way you think (often it’s beneficial to just let your emotions roam rather than trying to control them), knowing how … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Staying strong
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Tagged balance, change, confusion, control, desire, desperation, discomfort, dissatisfaction, emotion, fear, feel, feelings, friends, help, listen, listening, love, maturity, postivity, serious, sharing, state of mind, thinking, thoughts, trust, truth
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14 Comments
Love enough to let go. A song for thought
Unconditional love is freeing. It does not restrain. It is not possessive. It lets go. It’s really too bad that so many people don’t hear this kind of message enough to fully understand. After all, in media and popular culture, … Continue reading →
Posted in Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Poetry, song, and other art, Staying strong, Video clips
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Tagged clip, heart, heartbreak, let go, letting go, love, message, music, music video, singing, song, strength, strong, unconditional love, video, xscape
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6 Comments
Have faith that there is always a reason
So much doesn’t make sense sometimes. You feel like asking why? What brought this on? Did I deserve this? There’s always a reason. You may not always be able to find it out right away. Especially if the reason is … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Developing trust, Short posts, Staying strong
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Tagged answer, answers, comfort, confusion, faith, give up, knowledge, pain, reason, state of mind, surrender, understanding, why
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3 Comments
A New Year’s message to those of you who aren’t doing so well
Here we are, you and me. I’ve lived a while now and I’ve known a lot of people. Had a lot of experiences, felt a lot of different things. But right now, I’m talking to you and only you. You’re … Continue reading →
Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Staying strong
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Tagged appeal, empowerment, message, new year, new year's resolution, self-empowerment, understanding
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4 Comments
Awesome example of fighting violence and racism with positive energy
I present to you a video clip from the show “Enough Rope” with Andrew Denton in which former Ku Klux Klan leader Johnny Lee Clary gets on the show and explains “how one old black man defeated the entire Ku … Continue reading →
Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Funny stuff, Pass on the positivity!, Staying strong, Video clips
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Tagged funny, humor, Johnny Lee Clary, KKK, Ku Klux Klan, NAACP, racism, racist, Reverend Wade Watts, video
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4 Comments
Positive Juice 