Tag Archives: communication

6 examples of what creepy behavior is, and how to avoid it

When a person (or group of people) makes us uncomfortable in some way that is not openly harmful or violent, they are being “creepy.” This subject is not very well fleshed out, however; lines are drawn between violence and nonviolence, … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Debate!, Long posts | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Why don’t people just say what they mean and mean what they say?

The short answer is because what you are saying can be very different from what your audience hears. The longer answer is because what you say is hardly ever all that you mean – no matter how honest you think … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Developing trust | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Get off the script!

“Hi, how are you?” “Fine, thank you.” “Good! How’s work?” “It’s good, it’s good.” This gets boring and meaningless after a while, doesn’t it? It’s the dreaded script! AAAAAHHH!!! You know, those times when the conversation becomes so deafeningly predictable, when people … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Making connection, Short posts | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

There is no talking to someone who won’t listen. Talk to those that will listen instead

I am often witness to situations in which a conversation is going on between two people. Or, at least, that is what supposed to be happening. In reality, somebody is not listening. But often, even though somebody is not listening, … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Making connection, Short posts | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Don’t always protect people from your truth. It won’t make things right

We are often encouraged to put the negativity behind us and stay positive! You know, when something bothers you or otherwise messes with you? As aggravating as it may be, you swallow it and don’t make a big deal out … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Long posts, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

A different way to look at romantic relationships

Recently I was talking to a friend about whether she wanted a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship, and she told me that, for her, non-monogamy is the default norm, with monogamy being one possible “customization,” as opposed to the way. This … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The problem with secretly keeping score

Have you ever had a relationship with someone that was always threatened by tit-for-tat “negotiations” over small things? You know, like “we ate at the restaurant you wanted to go to last time. Now it’s my turn.” Stuff like this … Continue reading

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Love and compassion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A good divorce is as much cause to celebrate as a good marriage

Unfortunately, it’s even rarer. A few days ago I went to the family court in my area for a case that was pulled last of all, which meant I got to observe the other cases. Among these others were a … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Love and compassion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Adolf Hitler and the 9/11 bombers never had any bad intentions

Bad consequences/outcome? Yes, HORRIBLE. But not for bad intentions. No bad intentions here. Only good ones. What is a “bad intention?” And why in the world is it so important whether mass murderers have good or bad intentions? Because the … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Debate!, Love and compassion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

An idea is never born unaccompanied by a goal

When people talk about being “unbiased,” or “impartial,” they often forget that this is an oxymoron, because ideas don’t exist independently of goals. Trying to be “unbiased” is a bias in and of itself! Every idea has at least one … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Debate! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Saying you’re sorry and meaning it. How to apologize without conditions

Pride is a powerful motivator, and we often think that apologizing is humiliating. So we qualify our apologies with “if” and other riders: “I’m sorry if what I said offended you.” “I’m sorry you took what I said the wrong … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Desire, attraction, and the sacred middle ground

Love is wonderful when it works. But we push love away so often because we are afraid it won’t work. Even with those we are supposed to love most. The vulnerability required to realize true intimacy can be a major … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Developing trust, Long posts, Love and compassion, Pass on the positivity!, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Phone conversation? Or should you text? Or email?

When you can’t be face to face, sometimes the way you transmit a message makes all the difference. The phone is great for communication, but sometimes, especially when you’re busy, it would be better to receive a nice text right … Continue reading

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The power of asking questions

Asking a question is a revolutionary act. It’s what allows us to break out of the box and get to a higher level. Often, a situation happens that we don’t account for: rather than being a black-and-white fact vs. opinion … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

“Act like an adult” is not always a good idea

What’s the difference between a child and an adult? Puberty and a few years, that’s all. Why is this important? Because the idea that we are supposed to simply “act like adults” can be a very destructive one.

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