Tag Archives: feelings

Let’s talk about how we experience challenges to our privilege. We don’t do this enough.

Have you ever been accused of being “privileged?” Of having “unearned privilege?” Have you ever had that feeling that out of virtually nowhere, people are labeling you, boxing you into a corner, suddenly putting the screws on you to somehow … Continue reading

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What you feel is never wrong

One could say that feelings are always right, especially considering how they often just “happen” despite our best efforts! Sometimes, the context of certain feelings is messed up, yes indeed. You don’t want to burst out laughing when somebody is weeping, talking … Continue reading

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Positive thinking should be valued higher than other kinds of thinking

Free speech and free thought are definitely valuable things. But some kinds of speech and thoughts are more valuable than other kinds. I refuse to take a standoffish, “unbiased” approach to these things when we have so much injustice and … Continue reading

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Pay as much attention to why things are right as you do to why they are wrong

Many people only turn on their brain when something is wrong. But when things are right, it’s good to reflect on how to keep them that way – especially in case they start to go wrong. If you know more about … Continue reading

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What does it mean when you want someone to be jealous of you?

As I write this post, the most popular post on my blog these days, by far, is the one about why human beings get jealous. I noticed that a good number of the search terms hitting that post say things … Continue reading

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The difference between envy and jealousy

Envy is a natural feeling of wanting what somebody else has. Jealousy, however, is qualitatively different. Whereas envy simply says, “I want what you have,” jealousy says, “I can’t stand that you have something I don’t,” usually followed up with … Continue reading

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Getting the most out of the loves of our lives

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” –Rumi There is something about the way much of modern society views love outside of … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

The primordial soup of new feelings

When a person’s life situation suddenly changes radically, things can often become unstable. Moving to a new town, breaking up with a long-term partner, forming a new deep romantic relationship, moving out of a family member’s house, death of a loved … Continue reading

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The wonderful, liberating power … of dispassionateness

Oh yeah, let’s get excited! We’re going to get … dispassionate. Cool. Calm. Composed. Collected. And it’s going to be AWESOME. 🙂 I’m not joking. I’m telling you – sometimes there’s nothing that feels more awesome and life-giving than when … Continue reading

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The enduring value of partnership

Pretty much everything we do in life, generally, will at some point involve interaction with somebody else, or many other people. These interactions can be transitory, or they can be longer lasting, and while long-lasting interaction tends to make the … Continue reading

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

When the weather gets ugly, keep your hands firmly on the steering wheel

As driving advice, this is pretty common sense, right? You always want your hands on the steering wheel, but most of all when conditions are tough. That’s when both hands will be firmly guiding every movement, right? The thing is, … Continue reading

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You’re not feeling everything that you really feel

Have you ever noticed, when you look back on a past event, that you feel much differently now looking back on it than you did when you were going through it? When all is said and done, what counts most … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Personal reflections, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

How to keep your head on straight when you suddenly fall in love

Oh, it’s a powerful feeling. It affects all the senses, one’s preferences, one’s decision-making, one’s desires … EVERYTHING. And then, it’s gone. You’re not in love anymore! After a while, things return to normal, and you look back and see … Continue reading

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How to get good at empathizing

Those who see the infinite value of human connection and focus more and more on it start noticing something: empathy is everywhere. Or, at the very least, it is needed everywhere. So often, the first basic underpinning to doing anything meaningful involving another … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Making connection, Pass on the positivity!, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

ASK for clarification

When you look back on situations of conflict, so many awful things seem to happen solely because of some kind of misunderstanding. Especially between friends and loved ones – people close to you – the stakes are higher because of … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Love and compassion, Short posts | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Remember to breathe

Rant ahead! I have been having a really busy, action-packed week, and done pretty well. Got a lot done, managed to enjoy substantial time with good friends, ran errands, work is busy, et cetera et cetera. I even slept really … Continue reading

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When love makes the pain feel good

I’m not talking about kink/BDSM stuff here… that was covered in another post. No, I’m talking about when you feel that aching pit in your stomach for someone, when you miss them, when they have done something that they needed … Continue reading

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A Daddy That Serves… in Pain: One man’s perspective on loving and giving – and yet, being invisible

One night I was reading through journal entries on a website, and I stumbled across this: a man’s plea to be heard and be loved for who he truly is. He is a transman, that is, someone who was born … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Can positive people be sad or depressed?

Short answer: it happens all the time. There are some people out there who are so much into being happy and joyful that they run away from sad, depressing things. That’s understandable, but definitely not optimal. They end up never … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

How to listen well: start by listening to yourself

You can search for and easily find techniques for how to listen well. Here, I want to focus on how a good listener thinks, rather than what they do. First thing that must be said: You will be a better … Continue reading

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This thread tore at my heart

Somebody on Reddit posted that she needed something that would help her to cry, and asked for others to post videos, pictures, stories, and other media that have made them cry. I clicked some of the links, took a look … Continue reading

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9 reasons why men are insecure about their penis size

A lot of women ask me, “why are men so concerned about the size of their penis?” The short answer is that they are very insecure about the whole issue, and they don’t always have an outlet for making peace … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Desire, attraction, and the sacred middle ground

Love is wonderful when it works. But we push love away so often because we are afraid it won’t work. Even with those we are supposed to love most. The vulnerability required to realize true intimacy can be a major … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Developing trust, Long posts, Love and compassion, Pass on the positivity!, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

The best way to be truthful is to channel the truth correctly

We often see the truth as this finite, fixed quality, and ask: why can’t people just be honest? If it were so simple, this wouldn’t be such a widespread complaint. The issue is that truth is much more complicated than … Continue reading

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Game changers: How to change your state of mind

Being able to shape your state of mind is key to maturity. While you certainly don’t want to micromanage the way you think (often it’s beneficial to just let your emotions roam rather than trying to control them), knowing how … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

When a former asset has become a burden

It could be a deep relationship that just needs to change. Or a job that you were once happy to have, but now causes you stress. Or a lifestyle habit you have that once was awesome, but now has become … Continue reading

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The very important difference between a feeling and a state of mind

Feelings are temporary. They change and morph both gradually and quickly, often without us even realizing it. States of mind, however, are much longer-lasting and pervasive. You could consider a state of mind to be another kind of feeling, but … Continue reading

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It’s time to rant again!

Another late day at work. Weeks going by without seeing the ones I love. A constant feeling like I’m missing out on life. Not everything is always like this. It’s just that, being so busy, sometimes I get real frustrated… … Continue reading

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This kind of thinking really should be killed off

I’m talking about SHAME. Humiliating, self-loathing, debilitating shame. What’s the point of it? The point is, pretty much, to make you more humble and grateful through getting you to put yourself down. Nope! That is not how you become a … Continue reading

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Can revenge ever really be justice?

I remember when arguing with my ex how, when one of us was angry, we didn’t seem to feel satisfied until the other was also angry. This did two things: It made us feel that the other really took us … Continue reading

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Don’t be ashamed to cry

Especially for men, there is a taboo about crying. It shows weakness. It shows sadness, which we often associate with negative energy. We even tend to assume that it shows instability, and it sometimes makes us feel unstable to observe … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Positive self-talk: life is a film, not a photograph

You know how you feel something so strongly at certain points? Like “I will love this person for ever and ever,” or “I hate this person so much right now I could kill them…” Ever notice how, as strong as … Continue reading

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