Tag Archives: desire

An anonymous letter to those “nice people” that do “favors” so they can sleep with people

Dear person interested in getting into bed with me, You have *subtlely* shown in your interactions with me that you are not paying attention to my situation beyond how it might impact your ability to get cuddles/sex. Which is a … Continue reading

Posted in Conflict and dealing with negativity, Making connection, Sex and sexuality, Short posts | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

It’s ok to not be ready

This is one of those things that you can’t force. When you aren’t ready, you just aren’t ready. And nothing that you do or say is going to change that. It’s one of those things for which there is nothing … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Love and compassion, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

The real prize we’re all in search of

Why make money, form friendships, fall in love, suffer people and things you don’t like, and all that jazz? What are we really looking for? The answer to that question is not easy, and it does vary from person to … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Making connection | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Have high hope, but low expectations

This is a more concrete way of saying, “be open-minded,” a perspective you can take with you every time you are afraid of being disappointed. Some people use the word “hope” as a verb, in a narrow focus toward one … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Conflict and dealing with negativity | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Don’t do something just because you “should”

Sometimes you have to do things you don’t really want to do – but sometimes you have to want to do things, too. Doing something despite not wanting to¬†is part of life; very often, it’s too big a part of … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Despite what it may seem, “forever” is usually not a very good thing – even in love

Oh, I very much understand the appeal! Why wouldn’t anybody want to be loved forever, cherished forever, protected forever… guaranteed¬†that certain good things will be forever?? Problem is, there’s quite literally no way to fully guarantee it. Ever notice how … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

More than “just sex,” but perhaps not totally “making love,” either

Have you ever wanted to have sex that is both not too attached and at the same time not completely detached, either? You know, something that doesn’t make great promises about tomorrow, next week, and next year, but still fully … Continue reading

Posted in Love and compassion, Making connection, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A different way to look at romantic relationships

Recently I was talking to a friend about whether she wanted a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship, and she told me that, for her, non-monogamy is the default norm, with monogamy being one possible “customization,” as opposed to the way. This … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Debate!, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

How to be a better lover

The questions are always flying around: “what can I do to spice up my lovelife a bit?” Whether it’s on a date, in bed, living together, spending some time apart, it seems that some folks are better lovers than others. … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Love and compassion, Pass on the positivity!, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A Daddy That Serves… in Pain: One man’s perspective on loving and giving – and yet, being invisible

One night I was reading through journal entries on a website, and I stumbled across this: a man’s plea to be heard and be loved for who he truly is. He is a transman, that is, someone who was born … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Beliefs and worldview, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Long posts, Love and compassion, Personal reflections, Sex and sexuality, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

9 reasons why men are insecure about their penis size

A lot of women ask me, “why are men so concerned about the size of their penis?” The short answer is that they are very insecure about the whole issue, and they don’t always have an outlet for making peace … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Desire, attraction, and the sacred middle ground

Love is wonderful when it works. But we push love away so often because we are afraid it won’t work. Even with those we are supposed to love most. The vulnerability required to realize true intimacy can be a major … Continue reading

Posted in Beliefs and worldview, Developing trust, Long posts, Love and compassion, Pass on the positivity!, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Desire for control: the roots of fascination with sex and violence

As we grow up, we learn to equate control with maturity. The more control one has, the better off they will be. This does not have to be a bad thought process; when I say control, that includes self-control as … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Sex and sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Game changers: How to change your state of mind

Being able to shape your state of mind is key to maturity. While you certainly don’t want to micromanage the way you think (often it’s beneficial to just let your emotions roam rather than trying to control them), knowing how … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity, Developing trust, Staying strong | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Letter to a friend: I’m lonely, and I want to share this with you

I just wrote the following to a friend of mine – a little venting for my soul: =================== My loneliness is not a desperate one. I’m just aware of it and know that I’ll be better off expressing it. I’ve … Continue reading

Posted in Healing, Healthy vulnerability and weakness, Love and compassion, Personal reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The very important difference between a feeling and a state of mind

Feelings are temporary. They change and morph both gradually and quickly, often without us even realizing it. States of mind, however, are much longer-lasting and pervasive. You could consider a state of mind to be another kind of feeling, but … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Can revenge ever really be justice?

I remember when arguing with my ex how, when one of us was angry, we didn’t seem to feel satisfied until the other was also angry. This did two things: It made us feel that the other really took us … Continue reading

Posted in Achieving peace and understanding, Conflict and dealing with negativity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments